"Little Shop of Whores"...er....I mean "Horrors"

C'mon...I can't be the ONLY one who feels like I'm saying "Little Shop of Whores" every time I try to say "Little Shop of Horrors". As mentioned earlier, I went to Cincinnati Thursday to see a performance of this show at the Aranoff Center. I went with my sister and brother-in-law (Sandy and Andy), and Andy's sister, Cheri. I'd seen the movie version years ago (didn't remember much about it to be honest), but this was the first time I'd seen it live. I loved it! We had a blast. I think I'm going to have to buy the CD. We were sitting in row BB, toward one end as it curves toward the stage. So we were technically in the second row, but the first row ended just before our section of seats, so it was like we were in the first row. Andy, who is quite tall and was in the end seat, could put his foot out and touch the front of the stage. This is the first time I've ever sat that close to the stage for a live performance and it was a really interesting experience! Like anything, it had its good points and its bad points. Unlike sitting farther back, where you tend to see an overview of the stage, there was no real way to see the whole stage at once from where we were. You had to move your head around a lot, like being courtside at a basketball game, and during scenes where there were several characters on stage and a lot going on, I sometimes felt like I didn't know quite where to look. But it was so cool to be able to really SEE the performers. To be able to see their faces clearly, to see the details of the costumes and the stage sets. To be able to HEAR their voices...not just on the sound system, but the way you can hear someone who is talking or singing just a few feet away. VERY cool. But there turned out to be a downside to that close contact with the performers too. When Andy made the reservations, I said half-jokingly "Wow, we'll be able to feel their sweat flying when they spin." Ok, to be fair, I didn't feel any sweat. BUT. The guy who played the Audrey's sadistic dentist boyfriend? He turned out to be a spitter. Not just a little bit of a spitter, like when you see someone with some spit bubbles at the side of their mouth. He was a sprayer. He was center-stage, singing his big number, and the lights were on him and we could SEE spit-spray coming out over the audience, like someone had turned on a lawn sprinkler. I was looking at those poor people who were front and center and feeling so grateful that I wasn't one of them. Then it happened. He started moving right, toward our seats. OH MY GAWD. We all looked at each other in horror and panic. I really considered grabbing my mini-umbrella out of my purse. Really! It wouldn't have helped Andy, who was on Sandy's other side, but Sandy and Cheri and I could've hidden behind it. We were all cringing and giggling hysterically, and I'm pretty sure some of my "omigawds" and "oh shits" got muttered out loud. I didn't want to hurt they guy's feelings, so I hope if he could see or hear us past the stage lights that he just thought we were REALLY into the comedy of the song. It WAS a funny song. But not that funny. I can't really tell you for sure if I got any spit-mist on me or not. I didn't FEEL anything, so hopefully he at least didn't get my face. And if anything landed on my beloved beaded black kitten-heel mules, well, I really don't want to know. Everything I was wearing except the shoes got thrown into the hamper as soon as I got home, just in case. Sandy, Andy, Cheri, and I made a pact. Even if we have the chance for front-row seats in future performances, we're not going to go for anything closer than four rows back. We figure that should be out of spitting range. And to the young man who played the dentist in the April 7 performance of "Little Shop of Horrors" in Cincinnati --- if you ever read this, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cruel, but....EEEUUUWWWWWW!!!